Why are you awake?  Just laying in bed being lazy? Get that lazy ass up! You have

a family to care for. Good morning, beautiful. Beautiful HA! Who is he talking 

to? It is most definitely not you; the beauty faded long ago during your darkest times.

One leg, two legs here we go! Get this day going -- I love you, Melissa -- he loves me? How

could he like me, much less love me? What is there to love? can’t find love for

yourself: you have let yourself go, crow’s feet, frown lines, hair in a bun that’s falling out and

mascara smeared under your eyes, haven’t showered in two days, heart pounding from irrational thoughts, quick to anger, patience is thin, Baby, you’re so amazing; how is that possible? How

are you amazing? there isn’t anything amazing about you; you’re a pressure cooker wearing a

smile, but crying in secret, building up until you can no longer hold the tears and anger in,

lashing out at who is supposed to be your favorite person, the only person that hasn’t left your side; I’ll never leave you; he will get sick of you like everyone else has; your parents don’t want anything to do with you, and your daughter wishes you were the one dead and acts as if you don’t exist, your siblings have wanted nothing to do with you, let’s not mention the rest of the family acts like your kids and you don’t exist; so, you know in time he will leave as well; it’s just

a matter of time; you’re such a failure because well just look at yourself, need I say more; really look at yourself in this mirror; just look at that mop on your head, roots grown out with split end galore, looking like the hot mess express you are; wash that hair, WOMAN!, pluck those brows, and don’t forget about that old lady hair in your mole, make sure you wash your face, night cream, eye cream, lip cream, daytime lotion and don’t forget that lipstick; maybe you’ll feel better or not who knows, but let’s try it; why can’t you just be happy? why oh why are you like

this? You were raised in complete chaos being thrown out like a bag of garbage by your parents when you were only 16 years old; lack of love from your own mother didn’t help either. Hope

and don’t know any better; not the tears, oh Lord please let’s not start with the tears; once they start you know they sure don’t stop, you don’t have time for this nonsense; stuff those feelings deep inside and smile; no wants to hear, see, know, or care about those tears; get your shit together, stop being a cry baby; bitch be strong; You’re such a blessing baby; are you though? Are you really a blessing?; how could you truly be a blessing in his life? Without him, you wouldn’t be who you are today; you know deep in your heart that this man really truly loves you; no

matter what awful things your mind might try and convince you, you know this man loves everything about you and will never leave your corner; Baby please stop allowing your mind to lie to you, it lies to you because well, that is what the Devil does baby, it drags you to the deepest darkness you have in your body, you need to lean on your faith and not allow the darkness to cloud your mind; this I know my love, I know; but once again what is there to amazingly love about you? Just shut up!